"Even as I hold you,
I am letting you go."
Alice Walker (via moleculess)
I’m going to be honest. As much as I love being at home, I really don’t like it. I mean, being with my family is awesome. I’m just not as happy here as I thought I would be.
So lets get this straight. I’m not happy at school, I’m not happy at home…what does this “happy” thing feel like again? I seem to have forgotten…
Am I allowed to say I thought about “us” today?
And it’s sort of weird. Because we’re not an “us” kind of thing. I feel bad for saying it, but I can’t ever see the two of us being an “us” or a “together” kind of thing. And you know that, I straight out said it when we talked the other day. Even if you can see it happening, I can’t.
I just have a lot of confusion about how I feel because I haven’t felt like this before and I really don’t want to feel this way…towards someone. I just really can’t have anything to do with it. Mehmeh.
But that still doesn’t mean I don’t miss you…
But see! It feels so weird and wrong to say that! What am I even supposed to do ack.